


Sabrina and the Weird Sisters.

by Duras1989



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018), The Dirt (2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duras1989/pseuds/Duras1989
Summary: Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.“With Harvey’s hooks, my lyrics and the backing of Agatha, Dorcas and Prudence we decided to use the recording as a basis for out first album. We called it ‘Season of the Witch’. With tracks like: Strange Brew, Strange Magic, A kind of Magic, Pinkie’s brew, Kick-start my Heart, White Room of magic, Sunshine of your magic love, Black Magic Woman, Witchy Woman, Spell on you,  with only Kick-start my Heart and Mistreated for a different titles, what else could we call it?





	1. Chapter 1

Sabrina and the Weird Sisters.

Agatha Weird- Rhythm guitarist.

“It never really crossed out minds to be musicians, it all began on the Feast of Feasts, the cristians call it Thanksgiving. I had found out that Harvey’ ancestors did some rather unpleasant things to say the least and that justice needed to be dealt. My sisters had a much more harsher plan, but Sabrina was all but ready to pull a knife on us if we threatened her beau. So we came up with a different plan.”

Ambrose Spellman- Manager.

“They decided to have this huge witch party at our house and invite Harvey. The idea was that they would slip him a drink that would make him embarrass himself in front of the crowd and then they would call it even. And they tricked Sabrina into going along with it.”

Sabrina Spellman-lead singer.

“They said that maybe they could get along with those outside our faith, so they tricked me with the party. Once there the Weird Sisters were on stage and jamming a religious song when Melvin, Dorca’s future sweetheart, slipped Harvey a drugged drink. But like all magic potions have a tendency to go wrong from time to time, that one did.”

Dorcas Weird- Drums player.

“We were on stage and performing a song when Harvey drank the potion and just jumped on stage, ripped the guitar from Agatha and then started fretting the notes and shouting a hook into the microphone”

My heart, my heart  
Kick start my heart  
Oh, are you ready girls?  
Oh, are you ready now?  
Ooh, yeah  
Kick start my heart Give it a start  
Ooh, yeah, baby Ooh, yeah  
Kick start my heart Hope it never stops  
Ooh, yeah, baby

My heart, my heart  
Kick start my heart

“He just went wild instead of making a fool of himself. I guess it’s his witchunter blood. And the crowd of witches and warlocks just started to move with the hook.”

Harvey Kinkel- backup vocals, lead guitar.

“The only thing I remember of that night is that I took a drink and next thing I knew I was signing and playing guitar on stage, I blinked and there was Brina next to me, microphone in hand and lyrics came out of her mouth.”

When I get high I get high on speed  
Top fuel funny car's A drug for me  
My heart, my heart  
Kick start my heart  
Always got the cops Coming after me  
Custom built bike doing 103

Agatha Weird- Drummer.

“And we just went on from there, with that we found ourselves jamming backing tracks to the duos singing. Sabrina’s cousin recorded the whole thing, that lasted from about ten o clock to 6 in the morning. During which we jammed at least 30 songs that would be the foundation for out double album.

Hilda Spellman- Aunt of Sabrina’s/ co-agent.

“It was quite a sight. Harvey, the poor boy, kept coming up with the catchy hooks and Sabrina with the lyrics between them. When they stopped Harvey all but collapsed from exhaustion, of course he was crowd surfing and was being thrown up and down by the crowd, so it took us a while to get the poor lad into bed for some much needed rest. The dear thing was so burned out that not even the roar of the crowd could wake him up.”

Zelda Spellman- Aunt of Sabrina’s/ co-agent.

“I have always maintained the firm stance that we should stick with our own kind. But after seeing the cheering faces of the witches and warlocks, ones that cheered for a mortal vocalists…well…business is business… So we took the recording and then rented some equipment and decided to try our luck. With a crowd reaction like that it would have been a Lilith damned thing to forsake such an opportunity.

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.

“With Harvey’s hooks, my lyrics and the backing of Agatha, Dorcas and Prudence we decided to use the recording as a basis for out first album. We called it ‘Season of the Witch’. With tracks like: Strange Brew, Strange Magic, A kind of Magic, Pinkie’s brew, Kick-start my Heart, White Room of magic, Sunshine of your magic love, Black Magic Woman, Witchy Woman, Spell on you, with only Kick-start my Heart and Mistreated for a different titles, what else could we call it? The only problem was the name.”

Ambrose Spellman- manager.

“They spent like two days arguing about band names. Then I remember that Harvey’s brother Tommy called the house and then in a moment of silence we all heard Harvey say: ‘No, Sabrina and the Weird Sisters are still debating names.’ And that was how the band came to be.

Roz Walker- Sound Engineer.

“Sabrina and the Weird Sister just rolled of the tongue. And with that we had the final piece of the puzzle. After recording the songs, the only thing to do was start doing gigs and spreading the word.”

Theo Putman- Tour manager.

“It was insane how it all went down. It turned out that the music industry was full of people that knew the Spellman’s. Ann Margaret herself came to Greendale when she heard that Sabrina was fronting a band and even took us on her world tour as the opening act. Crazy man! I mean the biggest star was jumping with joy at introducing us to the world. She even insisted on becoming a producer for ‘Season of the Witch’ and has been one on every album we did.”

Harvey Kinkel- backup vocals, lead guitar.

“I was expecting that we would record with some cheep mike and then play in pool halls. First gig we did was at Tiger Stadium, the whole place was packed with Miss Margaret’s fans. Backstage I was a wreck. I was just a small town boy from Canada, and here I was on stage before 50.000 spectators. In our dressing room I saw how Anne got a big pile of roses before the show, they were from Elvis Presley. The door swung open and there came Jerry Lee Lewis, with half an bottle of scotch, he gulped it down in two mouthfuls, them pointed at me and said’ Party at Killer’s after the show, bring Ginger ale and Vodka.’ And then he just left. That was it for me, I bolted from the dressing room and straight to the bathroom to puke, everything was moving so fast that it was to much for me. After I emptied my guts, I saw a wardrobe been wheeled down the hall, and then I saw it.”

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.

“Harvey was so nervous, he to this day has stage fright, that he ran out of the dressing room and that when he came back he was wearing this Tudor style medieval tunic, with a ram’s head mask that hid his face. And he refused to go on stage without it. But just like the party, the phone call, this was also something that seemed like it was meant to be. We all came up with a little stage show for our act. When we walked on stage it was me, flanked by The Weird Sisters, then we all snapped our fingers and then Harvey, in his costume, appeared like he was a creature that we summoned him, from stage right. The crowd loved it when we snapped our fingers and Harvey in costume appeared, it was like the mirror thing from Morris Day and the Times. And when Harvey walked up to the microphone and started with ‘Kick-start my heart’…that…that was when we transformed from ‘Sabrina and the Weird Sisters’ to ‘THE Sabrina and the Weird Sisters.”

Prudence Night- Base Player.

“We walked on that stage as unknowns and the walked off of it as the hottest ‘newcomer’ band the year. I must admit that there is a certain appeal to having 50.000 people screaming your name and worshipping you as a goddess. Even if they are mortal. Even so, it was the beginning of an incredible journey.”

Harvey Kinkel- backup vocals, lead guitar.

“After the Tiger Stadium gig our phone kept ringing like crazy. I had gone to bed on Saturday from playing what I thought was the biggest crowd in existence and had woken up to hear that Ed Sullivan had invited us to end his show on Tuesday and that Friday we would be in London for Top of the Pops, in order to promote the launching of ‘Season of the Witch’. of Which our first single ‘Kick-start my Heart and Sunshine for a B side’ was to go on sale on Friday, and the main album on next Friday. We just had played a concert so big, that most bands would only dream of having and it was already small potatoes compared to our next two gigs. This would be D-Day for us, and our secret weapon, the album still had no cover art.”

“I was so stressed out at this that I took a pen and paper and started sketching the first thing that came to my mind, as a mean to get rid of the stress. I drew a rough sketch of Sabrina lying on her back with Salem her cat and a few books around her, and a floodlight in the form of a pentagram shinning down on her. I gave Sabrina a wicked smile and from there on I drew a couple extra sketches. One was Sabrina in front of birthday cake with red candles, and behind her a figure with horns was standing, another one was Sabrina smirking and holding a red apple in her hand. The last sketch was a two part sketch of Sabrina and the Weird Sisters walking down a hall. This was my favourite, since the cover showed her smirking and when you opened the sleeve, the second half of the image was shown, where Sabrina was winking at the listener. The girls saw them and they suggested we use one of them for the album. We where debating which one to use, when I remembered Todd McFarlane’s New Spiderman No 1. Marvel had the idea of launching that issue with multiple cover versions, that helped propelled the sales to up to 2.5 million copies, largely because people bought more than one copy in order to have the different cover versions. I told them my suggestions, and it was not received well initially, thankfully Sabrina was there for me, like always,”

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.

“I loved Harvey’s plan from the start, and argued for it for at least 10 minutes straight, stopping only to breathe. The rest where worried that it might alienate the buyers. They were not into comic books, so they could not wrap their heads that fans would buy the same product over and over, all because of minor changes, like how it worked with baseball cards, comics and even reprints of books. But thankfully I managed to haggle them down to accepting it. But they were still doubtful, so we compromised on the matter and included a small postcard inside, with the question: Which cover version did you buy?’ on it. And answer boxes for each of the 4 cover versions, and a fifth one that said all of them. The idea was that the fans would answer and prove that Harvey’s idea was wrong…Hell, the look on their faces when we received the answers.”

Dorcas Weird- Drums Player.

“I think 7 to 8 out of ten pamphlets had the fifth answer ticked off. It turned out that the different cover artwork was enough to make people buy it multiple times. So our album instead of selling about 700.000 units worldwide, it sold almost 3 million units because of the artwork. After that every band and singer had multiple cover art for their albums.”

Harvey Kinkel- backup vocals, lead guitar.

“What followed after Ed Sullivan and Top of the Pops was our first world tour…and after the first week of that madhouse….honestly I would rather face hell itself any day of the week than go on tour. But Sabrina and the girls wanted to. And with Sabrina you either help her of get out of her way, and despite there being times when… I would blame her for all the wrongs in the world, I could never hate Brina and I would be always by her side, gun’s blazing. And the same from her. Even when I could not stand to be near from one of her careless screw ups, she would still be there to die for me and I would and always be there to do the same for her. And boy, did we need each other.”

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.  
“They called our first tour ‘Motley Crue tour’ before ‘Motley Crue tour’. In my opinion that was taking it lightly.


	2. Ch 2

Ch 2.

Harvey Kinkle- backing vocals/lead guitar 

"Because of the mask I was the only one that could walk down to the store without getting swarmed by paparazzi or fans. But even so I doubt they would have paid me much attention considering the Weird Sisters antics. First hotel stop we got, they shot hundreds of fireworks out the 8th floor window of their room. If there was one thing that they did well, it war telling the world that the Weird Sisters were in town."

Sabrina Spellman- lead vocalist. 

"After every show Harvey and me would go back to either his room or mine and snuggle up on the coutch. The sisters went to theirs with I think more groupies that there were hotel rooms în the building. I heard that they tied up the men then ravage the girls and from what i heard they did such a bang up job that the divorce rates în the touring cities and the percentage of lesbians skyrocketed after we played a big there. "

"Prudence Weird-bass guitar 

"It was mostly Dorca's fault. She started dating Melvin and she was afraid of him leaving her if she layd with a other men without inviting him to the orgy. So for the sake of our sister we only slept with the women. Though the men didn't seem to mind the fact that they could only look to much. "

Agatha-Drums. 

And of course the prudes and unf#$$bles came out of the woodwork. The worst was the women who attacked the way we dressed. And of course each and everyone of them were ugly, fat, a shrew or all of the before. So în response to their criticism we all ditched out clothes and performed în two piece swimsuits. 

That actually increased out ticket sales. 

Dorcas- rhytm guitar. 

One night at Madison Square became 4. Wembley became 3. The maior of Moscow called to organize a concert în the Red Square. It was crazy how things Kept exploding and we were determined to make Sure that tommorow would be a bigger bang than the day before. 

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist. 

They brought a huge fan and threw whole packs of cocain în it, turning an entire hallway into a cocaine must filled realm. 

One morning the hotel manager called to complain that there was a great white shark în the swimming pool, when the ocean was a thosuand miles away. The girls just tore everything up, all the while Harvey and me stayed locked up în our room. There was no way I was letting him out of my sight with those lunatics. 

Harvey Kinkle- backing vocals/ lead guitar. 

Touring was okay, the hard part for me was When the girls took a break from their shenanigans and asked for new material. 

We always started with a catchy hook. That was esential to our songs, but it wasn't like before. The hooks for 'Season of the witch ' came when I half lost my mind when they slipped me that weird brew. So nothing came out of that . I told them as much, so they secretly started slipping me doses în my water during the shows. 

So whenever i got the poisoned cup I immediatly went of rails and jammed a new hook. 

That's how we got 'Cocaine ', My Heroine, Crack a Bottle , Can't stop rocking, Party with Molly (Can't stop), Lullaby, Hall of the Crimson Queens, Acid Queen, Mary Jane, Seeing Music, Don't like the drugs, and Tommy can you hear me. ' The last song came from one gig where I halucinated that Tommy was trapped în a mine collaps. I kept shouting Tommy can you hear me while half out of breath, before collapsing on stage. I had basically been on a 6 month bender without knowing it.

Sabrina Spellman- lead vocalist 

Neadless to day I almost took a knife to Agatha's jugular after I heard what they did to Harvey. He was so burned out that he needed a walking câne and me helping him just to walk out of the hospital. And he could barely stand on his feet.

Even so he insisted on KEEPING his commitment to the tour. Mainly because I used it to fund womens organizations and I was very passionate about it. 

It broke my heart to see him suffer like that, but it swelled with love since even thougt it was clear that he hated the tour, he was still there for me. 

The rest of the tour we finished by using outakes of Harvey 's voice from Season from the Witch as playback while we added a cloak to mask the high chair on tracks seat that we used to wheel Harvey on stage. 

After the tour was over it was time to record our second album ' Tears în the Rain....time to die.'

And I was determined that anyone who touched Harvey would pay if they tried to pull that stunt again. 

Dorcas Weird- rhytm guitar. 

We only had half an album's worth of songs . But Sabrina war ready to go on the warpath if we made Harvey come up with new material. So we decided to cover other songs to padd the album. The thing was all we did was just a big charaoke party and we recorded about 60 covers, each one of us brought 10 OR SO songs that we wanted on the album. And we could not decide oh what to cut off. And just like before it was Harvey that had an winning idea. 

Prudence Weird- Bass guitar. 

He sugested we cut down each cover song, keeping only the best bits from each and turning the entire B side into a medley of over 20 songs that only lasted about 3 minutes .

So that war how me made Masterpieces part 1, part 2 ,3 and 4.

But as usual Sabrina's mortal beau was not done yet. 

Agatha Weird-Drums.

After we finished recording Harvey had the ideea of a subscription option with the second album . Again taken from his comic books, the idea was that you would pay 3 albums worth of money and that you would get a 10% discount in album price and have the next two albums be mailed to your adress on launch day. 

He also had the brilliant ideea of bundling a 10 diferenț posters with the it and having our first album as a bonus bundled with our second album. 

That 2 for the price of one bargain atracted people which had no interest în our music and gave it a lot of buzz since no one had done before. 

Added was the multiple covers that he drew once more . But this time the covers where drawn în a way that if you put them în proper order, you'd get one big complete image of Us and Sabrina made out of smaller ones. 

I never liked the guy. But I admit that I love his business sense. 

Harvey Kinkle- backing vocals/lead guitar. 

To this day I don't know if people bought it because of the music or because of the bargains. But it worked. Tears in the Rain....time to die" Went straight to number one. It sold over 16 million copies before slowing down and it was crazy hearing not just our song on the radio, but also having another song coming up that was also ours. 

With that tour was inevitable. But this time I wasn't gonna repeat the mistakes of the first one. And în doing so I made newer and even bigger mistakes. 

Cause as an extra guitarist and backup singer we hired the Weird Sisters on and off boyfriend and Sabrina's half brother Nick Scratch. 

And if the first tour was Motley Crue before Motley Crue. 

This one was nicknamed ' Not even Crue would Do '


	3. Ch 3

Ch 3.

Nick Scratch- touring band member. 

People have this crazy ideea that I hate Harvey and vice versa. Which is false, the thing is Harvey and I have different ways of thinking. He's a better safe than sorry guy, I am a more fortune favours the bold. 

That's why when Sabrina always came up with a dangerous plan I d say do it and we'll deall with the fallout latter and Harvey would be all like: it's to risky. 

În the end neither one of us was fully right or wrong. Plans that seemed to not be possible, we pulled them off. But when they did fail...well let's just say that I am not ugratefull for Harvey's paranoia.

Harvey Kinkle- backing vocals/lead guitar 

Nick would make sure that Sabrina's otherwise unfeazable schemes become possible and I would be there to shoot anything that went wrong. Literally 

Sabrina Spellman- lead vocalist. 

During the Tears în the Rain tour, we where also at war with the Dark Lord and Blackwoods faction3. During one tour break I decided to summon demons for info on the Dark Lord.

With Nick at my side the whole thing was easier, and when it went SNAFU, Harvey was there with I think enough machineguns and rocket launchers for us to rob the Vatican. 

Harvey Kinkle-lead backup vocals/lead guitar 

It was horrrible, but it was also a bonding experience for me and Nick. I think that's where we reached an understanding of each other. 

Which was good thing since Nick was a very....very tipical warlock3, moresow now that he was a rockstar. 

Agatha- Drums 

Witches are imune to diseases and poisons. So we can't become junkies, which made us become bored of drugs after a while. So with Nick leading us we saught other thrills 

Dorcas- Rhytm guitar. 

We snorted Kobra Venom straight from it's fangs, we skidived a tank from a B52 and rode it down into a mountainside without a parachute3. Somehow the mountain was big enough and steep enough that we survived the fall because of the thick snow and sharpe angle of th3 slope. But that doesn't mean we didnt have to use the cain pit a few times. 

Prudence- bass guitar. 

We once bought live baboons, loaded them into a cannon and fired them at a PETA office. We put protection spells on them so they survived the blast. So the only thing worse than someone firing baboons at you, was magical cannonball baboons. 

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist. 

Another time that was before we went and rescued Nick from hell , was that a sex tape with him, Melvin and the Weird Sisters got leaked. 

Not to be undone by a sneaky reporter. Nick invited every pornstar from Naughty America and shot a huge club orgy with them and released it as a "informative sex education tape " . Where he actually added scenes on how to have safe sex.

It was one of the biggest and outrageous scandalous moments and few of our critics could day anything bad since it would make them seem that they we're against safe sex. 

Harvey Kinkle- backing vocals/lead guitar. 

For all the trouble he brought with him, he brought more good than bad. With him sharing singing and guitar duties the strain on me became considerably less so than before. 

Nick didn't become a rockstar. He was born to be one. He had that stage presence that hipnotized the crowd.

Sabrina was as usual always there for me and was halfway my nurse during the tour. Always making Sure I was safe and healthy. 

That's why to this day be it a S&WS tour or a Sabrina solo one, I never go on tour without both Nick and Sabrina. 

After the Rain tour we returned to Greendale. 

Sabrina Spellman lead vocalist .

It had been a crazy 18 months and it was good to get back to șome peace and quiet. And after all that we had cash to burn. There was not much I wanted to buy fir myself, so I spent the money by buying the distribution rights to classic horror movies, opening my own VHS and Dvd company. 

This was just as the market started and I had a big piece of the pie. 

The rest was spent on gifts for my Aunts, Ambrosse, Nick and then I had a custom house built. 

It had it's own pool, spa, therapy centre and drawing room. I bought it so I could keep and eye and properly take care of Harvey. 

The tours and albums were marathons for him so I made this a sanctuary where he could recover his strenght, but also for selfish reasons since I wanted him all to myself and keep the groupies and other celebraties away from him. 

Harvey didn't get drunk, do druggs, cheat and was okay with taking orders from a woman, that made him the no1 target for single ladies and Harvey is mine and mine alone. 

Harvey Kinkle- backing vocals/ lead guitar. 

To this day I can't thank Sabrina enough for buying our little sanctuary, it's one of the new places where i felt safe. 

And being protected there I could focus on my other interests. 

The first thing I did when the money started pouring în war gather a suitcase full of college flyers, take it to Tommy and tell him to pick one. 

Tommy could have gone to college years ago with a football scolarship but he had stayed behind to protect me from harm. Saying that his dream was to see mine come true. 

The fact that I could how pay him back was one of the happiest days of my life. 

He managed to get into Notre Dame and I paid his tuition, tutors, dorm rent, supplies and all other expenses în advance. 

Tommy eventually got his bachelors în geology and became a renown Profesor, traveling the world to explore deposits from the ages of the dinosaurs and beyond. 

The other half of the money I spent it on buying rare comic books. I got them at about 1000 a pop. Nowadays their prices go from 50 to 100.000, to even higher. 

I kept the most valuable of the lot and over the years sold the lesser ones.

I invested about 10 million dollars în comic over 10 years and I made 50 million dollars. 

To this day I still can't believe that I have one mint copy of Action comics no 1.

I even got on good terms with Marvel and Dc and they send me free copies of all their comics each day. 

And a good thing to. Since those no 1 issues are still void sealed and with each passing decade they become more and more valuable. 

Whatever money that I didn't put away în bank acounts, I spent on guns so as to help Sabrina whenever she cooked up a plan.

But the good times or rather the quiet times would not last. 

After a 6 month hiatus where Sabrina and I recovered and got our GED there was pressures from all sides to continue on with the band. 

The Weird Sisters wanted to continue since they loved the debauchery .

Nick wanted as well since he loved all the rockstar antics he could get away with în public.

Sabrina was up for a new tour since she used the band to champion equal rights and the concerts to hell fund charities  
. But she was absolutely against recording another album so soon. 

Unfortunatly the subscription option from out second album was bought by 5 million people. Meaning we had to make not one but two albums. 

It was the first instance where the very thing that bought us success would bring dissaster


	4. 4

Ch 4.

Harvey Kinkel- backup vocals/ lead guitar

Our third and fourth albums, even if they were crap would have been at least 5 time platinum bestsellers because the subscription option from ‘Tear in Rain’. And despite that, me being hesitant, and Sabrina being all against me recording another album, we wanted to make good music.

The thing is that some artists can compose great music without the aide of drugs or alcohol, I was apparently not one of them.

For the next 3 months we tried to get some decent material in the studio, during that time the only decent song we got was Heart Shaped Glasses, the problem was that we now had two albums worth to fill.

So, out of a mixture of curiosity and desperation I asked what was in the potion they slipped me.  
For those of you unfamiliar with amphetamine, it’s a drug that kicks your brain into high gear for a while, after which you crash for a few days.   
The mickey that the Weird sisters slipped me was the unholy lovechild of turbo charged meth and Super Soldier grade LSD.   
When I heard what it was I was even more determined to stay away from it. I had seem many artists become nothing but living corpses from abuse of booze and drugs, and I was determined to not let it consume me as well.  
I figured that this was it for our mega stardom, and as usual Sabrina was there besides me, backing me up 100% of the way.

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.

There was no way I was gonna let Harvey get on that stuff again, me and Agatha almost came to blows several times over that issue.  
They tried taking it themselves, but the Weird Sister’s strengths was the melodies and Nick was more of a live performer than a lyricists.

I needed a catchy hook to improvise lyrics, so I was not much help either.

By the end of it all we had was Heart Shaped Glasses and a few long instrumental tracks.

So what we did was that we took our favorite quotes, sayings from books, movies, actors, shows and play that we liked and I just bellowed them over the ten to 100 minute of sympho-pscychedelic hard rock instrumental tracks that the girls made.

That’s how we got: our third album: ‘Twilight Priestess part I to VIII’. Many critics compared it to Pink Floyd’s Shine On, which I guess there are worse things to be compared too.

Besides the already 5 million units presold of the album, it sold another 3 million copies. I still consider it our weaker albums with subpar lyrics and no hook, but it did sell well.

Prudence Weird- bass guitar.

Twilight Priestess was our strongest album yet, the problem was that we also had to release another album within six months, otherwise we would have been eligible to lawsuits from the fans for not delivering the product.

So with barely a fraction of our usual tour time, we went back to record another album. 

Agatha Weird- Drums.

And just like before, Harvey was being an uncooperative ass. Our creative process was that he came up with a hook, then Sabrina the lyrics, then we the melody and now Nick would spice things up for concerts. But now since the witchunter was feeling like a diva we were not producing songs at our peak.

Dorcas Weird- Rhythm guitar.

So with another 4 months in which the material we made was not worth much Harvey at one point got tired of all the comments and have veiled suggestions that he shoot up and get cracking.  
He got angry one day and then stormed out of the studio, Sabrina was on his heels. They came back two days latter and slapped some tapes and records on the recording booth.

Prudence- Bass Guitar.

They were English translations of various parts of operas and symphonies.

‘You want your damn hooks, here they are! And these hooks have been popular for centuries, so if you got a problem with that then you get the damn hooks yourself!’ Sabrina said viciously. I had to bite my lip from laughing out loud, she can be so funny to watch when angry.

Nick Scratch- touring member.

So basically we did a cover album with every famous piece of classical music. We did ‘Ride of the Valkyries’, Toccata e Fugue, Various songs from the Magic Flute, Ode to Joy, Rondo alla Turka, Soldier’s Chorus from Faust, Bizet Carmen Overture, and Bolero. We replaced various flute and horn parts with a mixture of Sabrina’s voice singing a few improvised lyrics. We put a lot effort into it, but we all knew that it was our weakest offering by far. Heart Shaped Glasses was the only original song that was up to snuff. And that was how we made ‘Songs of the Centuries’.

Sabrina Spellman- lead vocals. 

It really was not much, but because of the subscription option from our second album it was certified five times platinum, but then something unexpected happen. There was this organization called NPC made out of stupid and closed minded men and women that of course had a problem with out records, saying that they were indecent and that we we’re corrupting the youth and now the music of ‘true artists’, they decided to hold a boycott and protest our fourth album and concerts and as a result of all that publicity made ‘Songs of the Century’ sell well, I mean really well, by the end of it’s initial print it was 13 million copies.  
To this day every year on their birthday we send the men and women of the NPC fruit baskets and than you cards for helping promote ‘Songs of the Century’.

Now the tour that followed, that was quite an experience.

Harvey Kinkel-backup vocalist/lead guitar

Songs was my favorite tour, mainly because we had all those backdrop canvases and stage props that was ripped straight out of DnD, the crowd got into it and showed up with horned helmets and foam swords, we sold horn shape drinking mugs and on the New York Times best seller list things like Prince Valiant and any and all comic books and novels that had anything to do with magic or sword fights became bestsellers.

But no one was happy with the album itself.

The usual debauchery kept Agatha, Dorcas, Prudence and Nick happy, but when the tour was over, you could feel that everything was about to collapse.

And one of the main reason was ironically that this time I finished the tour healthy.

Sabrina Spellman-lead vocalist.

I was determined to not let Harvey’s full recovery be sabotaged by the unexpected success of the album and tour. So it was understood that we would either be taking things easier or that this was the end of the band.  
And unfortunately it was apparently the end of our little group. But by then we were to big to be let go yet.

There were hundreds of people that benefited financially from our albums and tours and they didn’t want the gravy train to stop, so we were offered a new record contract for another album.

And we all said a collective no to the 100 million dollars up front. We told them that the band was taking a break, then one of the label people came up with the idea of doing solo albums and bundling them up as one big band album.

Again we said no.  
Then they came back with a 200 million dollar offer.   
Again no.  
Then the crazy bastards offered half a billion for a 6 album record deal.  
It was too big to say no.  
Even thought everyone could see the train wreck coming from a mile away, everyone except the idiots with the money.


End file.
